Getting Comfortable with Being Uncomfortable
Getting comfortable with being uncomfortable was a phrase I heard frequently while working for GE. It was a phrase intended to inspire us to embrace ambiguity and change as we embarked on the biggest transformation programme the company had ever experienced. I was initially sceptical, for two reasons; firstly, as a pathological planner, the concept of not being in control of either my destiny or my to do list (both of which are planned meticulously using Excel) wasn’t doing it for me. Secondly, I am generally cynical about corporate phraseology or sloganeering, cynicism which I attribute to my Yorkshire roots.
However, my curiosity got the better of my cynicism as there was something about the idea of getting comfortable with being uncomfortable that resonated. I kept an open mind and it was during a flight to Rio de Janeiro that it hit me right between the eyes. I had been seconded, at relatively short notice to Brazil to take on a Latin America-wide role while a colleague took some extended family leave. I had a deep sense of discomfort on that flight because the final destination was laden with uncertainty. It was 6 years ago but I remember the sick feeling in the pit of my stomach like it was yesterday. I had worked extensively in Brazil which was why I was asked to go but what did I know about HR in Ecuador, Argentina, Mexico, Chile and Colombia? What would the team think of me? The role incumbent was, and still is one of the most brilliant HR people I know, how could I fill her shoes? Will I be safe on my own in a city that is renowned for its beauty but also known for its crime and social issues? How would I get around without speaking the language? You get the drift. This was a big, fat, uncomfortable change.
What was supposed to be a month-long assignment turned into four months and I loved it. I learned so much, I made life-long friends and experienced the richness and colour of a wonderful culture. I drove to work every morning with the sun rising over the ocean and home with it setting over the mountains. I often had to pinch myself (see photo of the view from my desk). The professional and personal experience was intense and I now look back on that time with incredible affection and gratitude. It was not all plain sailing though, a hungry mosquito landed me in Copacabana hospital’s emergency room (which is in no way as glamorous as it may sound). I was also terribly homesick at times but, it all added to the experience and the learning.
That sick feeling in the pit of my stomach on the flight to Rio was entirely natural as were the questions I was asking of myself, but what if I had let that sick feeling stop me from going? The feeling was not unfamiliar, I felt it when I took on an assignment in the Czech Republic. I experienced it when I was asked to spend a month in South Africa. The same feeling I experience every time I have started a new role or venture. I have felt it often these last few months. But had I let the sick feeling prevail during these times, I would have missed out on some of the most defining experiences of my life.
Seeing discomfort and embracing it for what it is, will be one way we navigate our way through this collective change we find ourselves in. Being comfortable with being uncomfortable is a phrase I use a lot with clients now, whether I am coaching someone, supporting a team or helping with a change programme because it yields so many benefits to individuals, teams and organisations:
Learning. When I get that uncomfortable sick feeling in the pit of my stomach now, I know I am about to learn something new, so I worry less and focus on what I am gaining from the experience. Some of our steepest learning curves come from uncomfortable situations. Seeing learning opportunities in any situation, is a way to grow and thrive but you can only really do that if you are comfortable with being uncomfortable.
Openness to change. Human beings like certainty and clarity and unfortunately neither are in abundance currently. It is safe to say that ambiguity will rule for the foreseeable future. Being comfortable with being uncomfortable is asking us to rebel against our instincts and wiring, but to do so opens us to new opportunities, possibilities, and experiences.
New habits. There is nothing like a crisis to galvanise us into action and change. COVID-19 is a mighty catalyst for change if we allow ourselves to see it as one. I have talked to many organisations over the last few months and a resounding theme has been how many of them have demonstrated newfound speed, agility and creativity in their decision making. They have developed sophisticated communication practices and engaged with their people in a way they never have before. Why have these organisations not done all this good stuff before? Because the previous ways of working were comfortable or well-trodden paths? Discomfort has driven new and better ways of working. The trick now is to make them habitual. Habits are tough to form but made easier when the impetus for change is already there.
Resilience. Resilience is a big topic so I will talk about only one aspect of it which is control. Resilient people have a good sense of control. There is nothing like a major, global pandemic to send us spiralling out of control and test the most resilient. Loss of control is a real source of discomfort for many of us. It is a source of worry and anxiety. Being comfortable with being uncomfortable helped me regain a sense of control when I have felt lost and out of control. Having always worked on the acquiring side of post merger integration projects, I found myself on the acquired side a few years ago and I felt a deep loss of control that felt very uncomfortable. But being comfortable with being uncomfortable helped me take control of the things I could and come to terms with the things I could not.
The flight from London Heathrow to Rio de Janeiro was a significant moment of realisation for me. The phrase that I had been very close to dismissing as corporate claptrap has become my ‘change mantra’. I am glad my curiosity got the better of my cynicism (there is perhaps a lesson on curiosity here also). Discomfort, framed positively and then harnessed, can have a profound impact on how we respond to the change, uncertainty and unfamiliarity that are the hallmarks of our near future.
Note: I should say, sat in a bar in São Paulo on my own watching Germany thump Brazil by a margin of 6 goals, therefore dumping the proud footballing nation, and hosts, out of the World Cup was a level of discomfort I couldn’t get comfortable with! You can’t win them all.